I’ve been thinking about the power of words. My words. The things I always say. I think for most of my life I believed saying sorry was good manners. The right thing to say. The polite response. The mark of a kind person.
“Sorry I’m late.”
“Sorry, I just need a moment.”
“Sorry, I don’t have that.”
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
It became automatic, like breathing. I apologised for everything, even for things beyond my control. The weather. Other people’s moods. My own exhaustion.
I thought it showed respect, but I’ve come to realise it quietly made me small.
I’m learning that the power of words works both ways. They can connect us or confine us. And for years, I let one small word shape how I saw myself.
The Habit of Shrinking
I grew up thinking that good people say sorry quickly. But at some point, I started to realise that words are more than sounds. They are stories we tell about who we think we are.
Every sorry I said for things out of my control seemed to rewrite how I behaved. I began to live like someone permanently at fault.
I think that’s the real power of words. They don’t just describe us… they define us if we’re not paying attention.
So eventually, I started to stop after each time I said sorry, and asked myself:
Did the situation really call for an apology? Was it truly my fault? Or was I just apologising for existing?
It didn’t come easily, but I started to replace sorry with gratitude.
Instead of “Sorry I’m late,” I’d say, “Thank you for waiting.” Instead of “Sorry I need rest,” I’d say, “Thank you for understanding.”
Those small swaps started to change everything. They began to turn this kind of ‘guilt’ into gratitude, and my need for politeness, into being more present.
The Power of Words and the Stories We Believe
I guess I have learnt that language is like a mirror. It reflects what we believe about ourselves, about others, and about the world.
The more I pay attention to the power of words, the more I see how language quietly shapes behaviour, culture, even ideas of justice.
I think words create permission. They influence who gets heard and who is ignored.
When a person says sorry too often, they start to shrink. When nations apologise without changing, it feels like manipulation. When corporations say sorry for destruction but keep profiting from it, it feels like performance, not integrity.
I think real apology begins with ownership. Because the way I see it… without action, words just become noise.
When Sorry Loses Its Meaning
That’s really where this reflection comes from. When I first thought about writing this, I had been looking back on 2025, and I realised how angry I’ve felt. Not just about what’s happening in the world, but about how it’s being spoken about.
After every climate disaster, war tragedy, or act of social injustice, we hear the same phrases from world leaders, corporations, and billionaires.
“Our thoughts are with you.”,
“We must do better.”
“We stand in solidarity.”
I feel like these carefully written statements almost sound like apologies, but they never quite step into real responsibility. They use the language of compassion while avoiding the language of accountability.
It’s a pattern I believe we’ve all come to recognise.
Tragedy followed by sentiment. Outrage followed by silence. Promises followed by nothing. (Thanks to ChatGPT for helping me iterate this statement that took me hours to verbalise in my mind.)
From Politeness to Power
I think the power of words lies not in how polished they sound, but in how truthfully they’re used.
Stopping my habit of over-apologising was about trying to find a better alignment (if that makes sense?). And honestly, I didn’t realise just how deeply ingrained it was until I tried to stop.
It wasn’t easy.
I think I wanted my words to finally match my values: self respect, empathy, honesty.
I’ve been learning that you can’t speak up for justice if you’ve been taught to silence yourself. You can’t rewrite the world if you don’t first rewrite your internal script.
I truly believe language might be one of the most accessible forms of artivism we have. I now see every word as a ‘brushstroke’ in the story of who we are becoming.
In reflection: How The Power of Words Shape Us
If sorry is the beginning of accountability, then I believe meaning it requires action. Maybe the real power of words isn’t in how softly we say them, but in how truthfully we live them.
So as always, I’m curious:
When have you apologised for something that wasn’t your fault? And what would it mean to stop saying sorry where it doesn’t belong, and start saying enough where it does?
IMAGE: A humorous yet heartfelt collage featuring a man standing against a pink background repeatedly printed with the word “sorry.” Dressed in a patterned shirt and a pink bow tie, he clasps his hands together in an exaggerated gesture of apology, his expression both serious and slightly comedic — capturing the tension between sincerity and social performance in saying “sorry.”
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